Confessions of an Angsty Teen Witch, Sort Of
by Renee Lepic
Summary: Lily and James, love hate, drama, sexual tension, fluff, innuendos all that good stuff. Third chapter up.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: ****I don't own anything. This is purely for fun. **_

_**Please read and review? **  
_

Chapter 1

_Blast that damned James Potter._ Lily's face was scarlet and her green eyes were burning with rage. _Always, me, the butt of his stupid jokes. Stupid, stupid, sodding prat._

Lily marched down the stairs, on her way to the large expanse of Hogwarts grounds, where she could cool off. A group of prefects that had been standing in a huddle by the main doors of the castle saw the enraged Head Girl approaching and scattered, whispering amongst themselves.

"Damn, she looks pissed."

"I hope she didn't find out that I skipped on patrol duty."

Lily's eye twitched at this remark. She had a keen sense of hearing, but couldn't be bothered with prefects now.

"I bet its James. Anyone want to bet me?"

Ignoring them, Lily stormed out of the castle, seething.

"Evans, wait!"

Lily had heard the footsteps coming. Oh, bloody hell, why hadn't she run? Well, one thing was certain, she would not turn around.

"Evans!"

She kept walking. One foot, then the other in front of the previous. Repeat. Good steady rhythm. A rhythm that did not involve the murder of James Potter. She would not do him the honour.

She heard her last name called out again, then, more softly: "Lily!"

"Bugger off, Potter!" she screamed back. She did not want to face him. She would not turn around. Would not.

"I was just joking, Evans, talk to me, please?"

"No! Has no girl ever said that to you before? N bloody O!"

She heard him swear to himself, then he sang out, "Please, Lily?"

She turned around. She couldn't not turn around. It had to be resolved at some point anyway.

"So talk, Potter," she commanded.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is purely for fun. **_

_**Please read and review? This isn't a diary, as the title semi implies, but it is written in Lily's point of view, with her thoughts. Hopefully I don't jump into James' POV. I tried not too. **_

_**Let's Play Catch-up: "So talk, Potter," she commanded.**_

Chapter 2

"Well, er… you see… I uh…" James stuttered. Lily had rather put him on the spot, and, of course, she was fully aware of this.

"Erm. Right. Thank you for wasting my precious time with your stupid bullshit." With these words, she turned on her heel and continued to walk away from James.

"Evans, come on. It was only a joke. I didn't mean to hurt you, or… or make you angry or anything."

Lily stopped short, and turned around to face him once more.

"_You didn't mean to hurt me?" _she hissed, and then her voice rose to a scream. "_You didn't mean to bleeding hurt me? _Don't be a bloody _prat,_ Potter, there is no other reason for doing what you did."

"I think you're overreacting…" he said quietly.

"Overreacting, am I?"

James swore.

"Oh, I wasn't supposed to hear that?" Her voice fell down to its normal pitch again. "Potter, I don't understand. What have I _ever_ done to you? Stupid pranks to get back at you maybe, worms in your socks, but I never deserved this. My first kiss, I almost got my first kiss, possibly the most romantic moment of my life, and you turn my head into a flesh-eating slug. If Tom Welks ever gets out of the hospital wing, he'll never speak to me again. I mean I know he's a Hufflepuff, but… Every teenage girl looks forward to that moment. I've been waiting seventeen years…"

"Well, he turned his head just in time, so at least the welts can only be seen in profile."

Clearly, this wasn't the right thing to say, because Lily Evans began to cry, her small pale hands covering her lightly freckled face.

"No, no… Lily, I was joking. I was only joking."

"Well stop! I'm sick of your jokes. It's been a week that I've had to deal with you and I'm already ready to murder you." She spoke between sobs.

James hesitated before he spoke again. "He… was going to be your first kiss?"

She nodded, not moving her hands from her face.

All this time, the two had been standing fairly far apart, but James moved towards Lily and closed the distance between them. Feeling his presence near her, she looked up at him, dropping her hands to her sides.

He kissed her lightly on the cheek. She gasped.

Then, instinctively, she slapped him.

"Ow! What the bloody hell was that for, Evans?"

The tender moment was gone. But now that she got the chance to think about it, maybe there was a side of James that wasn't a dumbass.

"I'm sorry! I just… I didn't mean to, it was just…"

Then she caught a glimpse of her hair. It was puke green.

Not a dumbass? What the hell had she been thinking?

He smirked.

"_Potter_!"

"Evans?"

"I'll get you back, Potter. Just count on it."

"I sincerely hope that this revenge involves some form of violation upon my sexual being."

"Ah. There's the Potter I know. I was wondering where your perverted jackass self was hiding during the course of our little exchange."

"I did feel bad you know," he told her.

"Oh, of course you did."

"I did. Can't have my feisty, redheaded dorm mate upset. I wouldn't get the shower for a week."

_Don't remind me, Potter, _she thought. The Heads's dorms were joined to the same bathroom. Lily had no idea who would make such a stupid floor plan. She supposed they had run out of piping once one full Head dorm was completed, then had no other choice but to force the two Heads to share a bathroom. Or maybe something else. Who the hell knew? The point was, it was stupid.

"Feisty? What the hell are you on about, Potter?"

"It's a compliment, Evans."

She sighed. She was more upset now than she had been before she stormed out of the castle, but she was out of energy now. Perhaps a nice nap would do it.

A nice nap in her room, ten metres away from James Potter.

Bloody hell.

**always-mr-moony **– Aw, thank you. That's nice of you to say.

**MarauderPrincess (aka Jessica) **– Hehe. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

**All **– I really really appreciate reviews. It's like a happy little surprise. And if you write L/J, I'll more than likely go check out your stories, because it's one of my ships of choice.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is purely for fun. **_

_**Please read and review? This isn't a diary, as the title semi implies, but it is written in Lily's point of view, with her thoughts. Hopefully I don't jump into James' POV. I tried not too. **_

_**Moony4Moony: I editted this and resubmitted ita bunch of times cos I'm incompetent and couldn't edit properly > , but when I did so, your review on the third chapter may have been deleted. I'm really sorry if it was. But Ima try to get started on the teacher/student fic tonight possibly.  
**_

_**Let's Play Catch-up: **_

_**She sighed. She was more upset now than she had been before she stormed out of the castle, but she was out of energy now. Perhaps a nice nap would do it.**_

_**A nice nap in her room, ten metres away from James Potter.**_

_**Bloody hell.**_

Chapter 3

Lily awoke from her "nap" at 5:00 AM.

"Damnit," she told herself. "I was supposed to sleep for an hour, not from seven to five in the bloody morning."

She sighed, then attempted to go back to sleep. After ten minutes or so, she gave up and sat up in bed, rubbing her groggy eyes.

"Maybe I'll go get dressed."

She pulled her hair our of it's ponytail, but to her dismay, it was still green.

"Bloody Potter."

In hopes that it would come out, she took a shower and washed it, rather furiously. However, all the scrubbing that she did with her fingers did not seem to aid in the removal of the unwanted colour.

"Sodding prat," she muttered.

She wrapped a towel around herself and went back into her room to change into clothing for the Saturday ahead of her. There was to be a leadership meeting later that day, so that the prefects and the Heads could organize whatever it was they had to organize, decide upon a weekly meeting day, prepare for the coming year, etc.

Lily would have to go to it with puke green hair. Damnit. What a professional impression that would make.

It was approximately 9 o'clock when Lily finished her homework. The meeting wasn't until noon and breakfast had already been served. She decided that she would go down to the kitchens and grab a bite to eat from the house elves.

Upon her arrival, the elves went absolutely insane with the delight of having someone to wait upon. Two ran up to her, as if racing each other for the great prize of insisting that she eat a lot of their food.

"Plonk will ask mistress what she needs, Plonk will do it."

The other elf ran to catch up, wobbling slightly as she did so, "No, no, no. Trommy will do it. Trommy will ask what mistress needs."

Both tied, but fell over onto the floor of the kitchen and laid there, breathing heavily.

"Er… Are they okay?" Lily asked.

"Yes, mistress Lily, this happens often," explained one tiny elf.

"Alright, well. May I have some toast and jam please?"

"Mistress does not want something more? Pancakes, eggs, French toast. We have much."

"No, that's it thanks."

The elf looked rather disappointed. Lily sighed.

"Alright, I'll have all of those, and some pumpkin juice."

The elf cheered up. "Alright mistress, Ramona will get them for you. Yes, yes."

Lily left the kitchens with a huge breakfast that she could not eat all of. Intending to share it with some friends, she headed for the Gryffindor common room.

"Password please?" the fat woman requested.

"Uffington."

The portrait swung open and Lily crawled through it, attempting to balance the tray on one hand.

"Lily!" exclaimed Rolanda Redfox, looking up from her homework at the opening portrait hole. She was sitting on a large, plush couch, striped red and gold.

Lily walked over and joined Rolanda and some other girls that Lily knew and liked fairly well, offering them breakfast. They all refused, claiming they had already eaten. Then, Sirius Black, probably smelling the food from his dormitory, rushed down the boys' stairs and joined them.

"Hey Lils," he greeted her, eyeing the tray she was holding, and grabbing a pancake off of the large stack.

Lily crinkled her nose at him.

"How exactly are you going to eat that without a fork?"

He stuffed the pancake into his mouth, then, without swallowing all that he had eaten yet, said, "Like that."

"Ew, Sirius. And you're dripping syrup all over the carpet," exclaimed another girl, Yosemina Wright.

Sirius finally finished chewing, swallowed his food, then said, "Oops."

Lily laughed.

"Well, I've got to rush, I'll see you girls later." He gave Lily a hug, then went out through the portrait hole, probably to meet James and his other friends.

Despite the fact that she constantly argued with James, Lily was actually quite good friends with Sirius and Remus, who had looked out for her since she came to Hogwarts, and often mediated fights between herself and James. As for her frustrations with James, well, he did like to tease her quite often, and often he would play stupid pranks on her, but it was really his cockiness that she found the most annoying trait. There was another Marauder, as the four boys liked to call themselves, as well, though Lily didn't know much about him. His name was Peter and he seemed rather like a nice, quiet fellow. He had only come to Hogwarts halfway through sixth year.

After she ate all that she could and chatted with her friends for a while, Lily left her the tray with her friends, telling them that should finish up the food or share it with other Gryffindors, and then she excused herself, explaining that she had a leadership meeting.

Upon entering the library, where the meeting was to be held, Lily, realizing that she was five minutes early, chose to have a chat with James Potter.

"Why did you turn my hair the puke green, Potter, and why won't it come out?" The words sounded angrier than she had meant them to sound.

He looked up from his paper and laughed, then put on a serious face once more.

"I had to. If I hadn't, I'd never have been able to concentrate at today's meeting."

"_What_ are you talking about, Potter?" she hissed.

"Well, if you're lovely, long, red hair had been cascading down your back in the fashion that it normally does, a boy will not be prone to concentration."

"Don't give me that, Potter," she snapped. Damn prefects, standing around. How was she to swear at and injure the Head Boy with them milling about? "Don't even bother pretending that hair is what you focus on when you look at a girl."

"Ooooh! Burn! Potter got _burned_!" shouted a tiny prefect. His size seemed rather strange, considering he was in 6th year.

"Shut up, Cornelius," James said sbappishly.

**Moony4Moony** – Hehe. Thank you a bunch. I'll prolly update a bunch this weekend/at first, then updates might slow down. I think you've inspired me to write a teacher student fic, because I read your story, "Professor". I'll do that when I get time.

**Janine **– Thanks for the compliments on the title and the way Lily is. And as for the comments, which I really appreciate as well, seeing as they help me view what you the reader think would make the story better, I really want to address them, but I think they'll kind of take care of themselves as the story progresses. If they continue to be a concern, let me know, and I'll try to clarify more, for sure.

**fork-tofu-pingpong-fish **– I'll make sure to update as much as I can, what with school and such. I appreciated the kind words.

**IMustNotChaseTheBoys **– Thanks bunches.

**All **– Keep reviewing, the reviews keep me going, and the hits. Also, this might get more perverted/sexual/more swearing/etc. as it goes on. If anyone out there wants me to start on a cleaner version, let me know, I don't want to scare any potential readers away. :p. I'll do it even if only one person requests it. If no one minds the swearing and future perverted moments, then that's cool and I'll just keep going the way I have been.


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